judging myself

"It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's
eyes."

~ Sally Field

Understand more & fear less

"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less."

~ Marie Curie

Religion and ballet

“[B]elieving that religion is a botched attempt to explain the world . . . is like seeing ballet as a botched attempt to run for a bus.”

~ British critic Terry Eagleton
Reason, Faith and Revolution

Love is the only rational act

"Love is the only rational act."

~ Steven Levine

Respect and Acceptance

quote from www.buildingbridgesmedia.com:

• The courage to be creative and explore new patterns of thought and behavior grows as people participate in relationships based on respect and acceptance
• Relationships in which people feel controlled, abandoned, or betrayed foster withdrawal, depression, and destructive behavior
  

~ John Brendler, MSW, ACSW, LMFT

"feelings are very valuable assets for discerning reality"

quote below from
The Path of Empowerment
by Barbara Marciniak
New World Library, 2004

“…if you do not know how to feel, then you are missing a very important gear for playing this game. Feelings are activated by giving yourself permission to feel, then as you withhold judgment, owning the fountain of feelings that appear. If you are afraid of a flood of feelings getting out of control, let go of this fear by acknowledging your emotions as serving a significant purpose, and then release your attachment. Your feelings are very valuable assets for discerning reality…”

"Have you spent time in your confusion? And if so, what have you learned there?"

following quote is from
Cancer and Massage
By Tracy Walton, LMT, MS
"Facing Down the Mystery"
http://www.massagetoday.com/mpacms
/mt/column.php?c_id=2802

In oncology massage, we work at the edges of what we know about these things, and this can be unsettling. This not knowing can actually lead to deeper understanding. The realm of not knowing can be a fruitful place to spend time. Sometimes I ask my students, directly, "Have you spent time in your confusion? And if so, what have you learned there?"

The question inspires sacred silence and thought, and it invites a reflective rather than a reflexive answer. The answers I get are many and varied, and they come from the deepest places. Even without a clear answer, sitting with the question gives us good pause.

Setting the tone

"As a general rule, the person who makes the approach has the power, because she sets the tone of the interaction," says Fitter Sloane.

"What to say in awkward social situations"
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/wayoflife/06/30/
rs.react.awkward.situations/index.html

Grief

"I can talk to her about my feelings of grief. Last night for example [we] watched a movie.... After the movie I was overwhelmed by sadness. It was almost as if my grief was like a leaky faucet and during the movie I plugged the drain in the sink only to find after the movie I had a sink full of grief to drain."

~ Christine D.

Taking the name of God in vain

quotes below are from:
"Did God Really Say That?"
Norris Burkes
Christianity Today
http://www.christianitytoday.com/tc/buildyourfaith/wisdom/didgodreallysaythat.html

I confess there is a sort of sadistic streak in me that revels in the embarrassment of people who suddenly realize a Baptist chaplain heard their off-color remarks. They look at me like they are suddenly 7 years old again and I'm their mother threatening them with a bar of soap.

"Jeez, chaplain, I'm sorry. I didn't see you standing there."

I'm not a fusspot, but it is moments like these in which I jokingly step into the role of theological grammarian. For instance, if you pronounce God's last name as "Damn," I might say, "No, no, no. He hasn't used that name since Sodom and Gomorrah. He goes by his initials now: WWJD. Haven't you seen the bracelets?"

If you respond to frustration by saying "Oh God," I'll throw my voice into a deep baritone and say, "Yes, my son"

If you blurt, "Jesus!" I might ask, "Was that a prayer?"

If I sneeze, and you respond with "God bless you," I'll say, "Thank you, he does."

Leadership Vision

If you want to build a ship, don't herd people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery, 20th century

The criminal mind: "I don't love nothing"

"[Kaboni] Savage's savagery went way beyong witness intimidation. It was witness extermination.
"Without the witnesses," he bragged in prison trash talk, "you don't have no case." ...
"I don't love nothing, man," he once declared, "nobody love me." ...
"I ain't got no regrets."

"Kaboni Savage, man of no regret"
"Man without remorse is home to face justice"
Commentary by Monica Yant Kinney
Philadelphia Inquirer p. B1,B4
May 20, 2009

Adapt or Die

"We have to adapt or die. We need to energize viewers and users. ...
They don't need us the way they used to, and we have to find a way to make them need us again."

Chris Blackman
vice president, NBC10 News
"Economic tailspin batters local TV"
Philadelphia Inquirer, p. A12
May 20, 2009

Viloma

Viloma - "against a natural order" (Sanskrit)
"A parent whose child has died is a viloma."

Karla FC Holloway
NPR essay

what is the real problem?

quote from a substance abuse counselor recommending family therapy:
"families thought the problem was drugs or alcohol, and the abuser thought the problem was the family!"

"When a loved one is gripped by depression"
Dan Gottlieb
Philadelphia Inquirer
May 25, 2009

how to break out of a slump

quote from the following book review of
Breaking the Slump
How Great Players Survived
Their Darkest Moments in Golf
and What You Can Learn From Them
By Jimmy Roberts
Collins. 256 pp. $24.95
-----------------------
Reviewed by Joe Logan
Posted on Sun, Jun. 28, 2009
Philadelphia Inquirer
http://www.philly.com/inquirer/entertainment/books/
20090628_A_quick__breezy_look_at_slumps.html

Curiously, the best advice I found about how to break out of a slump didn't come from one of the golfing subjects in the book at all. It came from former tennis great Chris Evert in the chapter about her new husband, famous slumper Greg Norman, as Evert talks about her battles against her old rival Martina Navratilova, who once beat her in 13 straight matches.
Suffice it to say, it's all about confidence - or at least projecting an air of confidence.

"Have fun and the audience will have fun"

quotes below are from:
Ed McMahon, host, sidekick and pitchman, dies at 86
By Gayle Ronan Sims, Philadelphia Inquirer Staff Writer
Posted on Wed, Jun. 24, 2009
http://www.philly.com/inquirer/obituaries/
20090624_Ed_McMahon__host__
sidekick_and_pitchman__dies_at_86.html

Ed McMahon, 86, who began his half-century television career in Philadelphia before becoming Johnny Carson's sidekick on The Tonight Show, where his booming announcement "Heeere's Johnny!" became his trademark, died yesterday.
...
"The Tonight Show was powerful. It launched the careers of many comedians," said the stand-up comic Tom Dreesen, who appeared on the show 61 times. "Johnny Carson didn't speak with guests before the show. Ed McMahon would.
"The show had about 15 million viewers, and the first time I performed I was obviously nervous. Ed McMahon put his arm around my shoulder and said, 'Have fun and the audience will have fun.' I never forgot that. I think about that every night before I go on stage to this day. Nobody had more fun than Ed McMahon. He had a hearty, distinctive laugh."

(underscore added by blogger)

SAT: "concentrate on specific concepts to narrow the focus"

quotes below are from
"An Ivy approach to SAT preparation"
By Kristin E. Holmes
Philadelphia Inquirer Staff Writer
Posted on Sat, Jun. 20, 2009
www.philly.com/philly/news/local/
48667252.html?cmpid=15585797

Nicholas Green, ... 24-year-old Harvard University graduate, achieved a series of perfect scores on the SAT while a teenager. Later, in 2003, he founded a test-preparation firm that trades on the mystique of the Ivy League and a skepticism of college entrance exams.
His company, Ivy Insiders, based in Cambridge, Mass., is blanketing the Philadelphia area for the first time this summer....
"We show that the test is beatable," Green said. "It's not about being a genius, but about understanding the content and how it's being tested. That can be a very empowering thing for students wrapped up in the myth of the SAT."
The myth, he said, is the belief that college admission tests measure the knowledge students have crammed into their brains by the time they sit down with an answer sheet and a No. 2 pencil....
It's the approach that matters, and he describes his as game-oriented and irreverent.
The Ivy Insiders course concentrates on specific concepts to narrow the focus in subjects such as English and math. Students then learn the types of "predictable" questions that test those concepts, Green said. Repeated practice on actual exams rounds out the curriculum.
...
Last year, Green said, his company's 1,600 students averaged a 265-point gain. Fees range from $699 for class sessions (34 hours plus four practice tests) to $2,399 for 30 hours of individual tutoring. Discounts and financial aid are available.
Test coaching typically costs about $400 for online courses, $1,100 for in-person classroom workshops, and $100 to 200 per hour for in-person tutoring, the NACAC study said.

(underscores added by blogger)

Matt Miller's Grace and Grit

quotes below are from
"Grace and Grit, A Young Athlete’s Fight for Life"
Rebounding, to race again
By Michael Vitez, Philadelphia Inquirer Staff Writer
Last of three parts.
http://www.philly.com/philly/health_and_science/
20090623_Rebounding__to_race_again.html

His longtime girlfriend from Radnor High, Emily Privette, said:
"He seems to single-mindedly pursue his goals with the belief that he is in control of his own destiny. And, to achieve them, all that is required is that he always give his best."
...
Matt told his story to 300 students from third to eighth grade at a private school in Virginia where his uncle is a teacher.
Matt spent hours thinking about what he wanted to say.
Before the accident, he told them, "I pretty much thought that I was invincible and unstoppable."
He urged the students to wear a helmet, which had saved his life, and to take care of their bodies. His conditioning had speeded his recovery.
He emphasized the strength he drew from those around him:
"Honesty, hard work, going out of your way for others, doing the right thing at the right time, these are what will build strong relationships with others. And these relationships will not only bring you happiness every single day, but they will help save your life when you need them the most. It is not possible to exaggerate the importance of family and friends."
He encouraged the students to create a vision for their lives and work tirelessly toward it.
"We cannot decide what happens to us, but we can decide what happens in us," he said. "How we take the raw stuff of life and make it a thing of beauty. That is the test of living."

Gratitude

"Gratitude is the best healer."

~ Lois L.