"Did God Really Say That?"
Norris Burkes
Christianity Today
http://www.christianitytoday.com/tc/buildyourfaith/wisdom/didgodreallysaythat.html
I confess there is a sort of sadistic streak in me that revels in the embarrassment of people who suddenly realize a Baptist chaplain heard their off-color remarks. They look at me like they are suddenly 7 years old again and I'm their mother threatening them with a bar of soap.
"Jeez, chaplain, I'm sorry. I didn't see you standing there."
I'm not a fusspot, but it is moments like these in which I jokingly step into the role of theological grammarian. For instance, if you pronounce God's last name as "Damn," I might say, "No, no, no. He hasn't used that name since Sodom and Gomorrah. He goes by his initials now: WWJD. Haven't you seen the bracelets?"
If you respond to frustration by saying "Oh God," I'll throw my voice into a deep baritone and say, "Yes, my son"
If you blurt, "Jesus!" I might ask, "Was that a prayer?"
If I sneeze, and you respond with "God bless you," I'll say, "Thank you, he does."
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