Who loves Jesus? One of my family's favorite, yet weird, things to do with each other is to scream out at the top of our lungs, "Who loves Mommy?" Then everyone screams in unison, "I do!" Then we go to the next member of the family, "Who loves Cole?" and everyone answers, "I do!" This goes on till everyone in the family has been named and yelled for.
How would you like to lower your husband's or wife's blood pressure? Or protect your grade-school children from being involved in an immoral relationship later in life? Would you like to add up to two years to your own life? (Almost sounds like an insurance commercial, doesn't it?)
Actually, these are all findings in recent studies of the incredible power to bless others through touch. One study by a hospital revealed that people guessed their own doctor's visit as being three times longer than it was because the doctor provided an appropriate touch on the shoulder or arm. People often understand love and value through touch more than words. The dark side of touch is abuse and many have experience the scars of abusive touch. Meaningful touch and hugs can be awkward if you grew up in a home where touch was not often given.
We give the people we care about an incredible gift when we dare to reach out and touch them.
Who do you know that needs your touch? Add some meaningful words of blessing with your touch and double the power.
“…if you do not know how to feel, then you are missing a very important gear for playing this game. Feelings are activated by giving yourself permission to feel, then as you withhold judgment, owning the fountain of feelings that appear. If you are afraid of a flood of feelings getting out of control, let go of this fear by acknowledging your emotions as serving a significant purpose, and then release your attachment. Your feelings are very valuable assets for discerning reality…”
In oncology massage, we work at the edges of what we know about these things, and this can be unsettling. This not knowing can actually lead to deeper understanding. The realm of not knowing can be a fruitful place to spend time. Sometimes I ask my students, directly, "Have you spent time in your confusion? And if so, what have you learned there?"
The question inspires sacred silence and thought, and it invites a reflective rather than a reflexive answer. The answers I get are many and varied, and they come from the deepest places. Even without a clear answer, sitting with the question gives us good pause.
