"Civilized behavior, I believe, is more often measured by what a person restrains himself from doing than by what he does."

Somebody Else's Kids, by Torey L. Hayden
G.P. Putnam’s Sons, New York
Copyright © 1981 by Torey L. Hayden

quotes, p. 214, regarding Dr. Boom’s “expert” view of Torey’s career lovingly and effectively helping “the slowest children” as a special education resource teacher:

Dr. Boom:
“You are a gifted teacher, you know that.  Why are you wasting yourself here?” . . .
“Here with these children who’ll never amount to anything. . . .
You ought to get yourself into university teaching or some other place where you can do some real good.  You shouldn’t waste yourself here.”

Torey:
I did not answer.  Civilized behavior, I believe, is more often measured by what a person restrains himself from doing than by what he does.