Achieving Peaceful Coexistence with Neighbors

advice from Bill Adler Jr.
author - Outwitting Neighbors: A Practical and Entertaining Guide to Achieving Peaceful Coexistence with the People Next Door

quoted from a CNN article about RottenNeighbor.com
Surviving Your Nasty Neighbor
by E. Bougerol
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/
wayoflife/01/14/neighbors/index.html

No matter what category your particular complaint is in . . . Adler says nuisance neighbors fall into one of two groups: "those who are rude, brutish and just don't care, and those who are simply ignorant of your side of the story."
Adler stresses that communication is key to keeping the problem from getting downright ugly: Neighbor disputes are the No. 1 reason, in some cities and small towns, why Americans go to court, he says. . . .
"We really want to turn this into a positive thing," he says, "to help resolve issues between neighbors and make people happier where they live."
Adler agrees that getting neighbors to appreciate each other's point of view is the most effective step to resolution -- something he and his wife learned the hard way when that dog crept into their yard. "We didn't deal very well," he says. "We made mistakes we regretted."
He figured others could learn from his mistakes, and penned the book "Outwitting Neighbors: A Practical and Entertaining Guide to Achieving Peaceful Coexistence with the People Next Door." . . .
He offers these tips for coping with bad neighbors before they -- or you -- wind up before a judge (or online).

Five tips for keeping the peace
1. Know your neighbors. Upon moving in, knock on doors, introduce yourself and establish a rapport. That way, when a problem does arise, you'll both want to resolve it peacefully.
2. Bring problems up immediately. Don't delay. The longer you wait, the bigger the problem can get -- literally, in some cases (a new puppy, a tree that blocks your sunlight, an add-on to property).
3. Ask around. Most problems bother more than one neighbor. Gather support to build your case, and consider talking to the offending party as a group.
4. Be nice. Bring your neighbor cookies or a bottle of wine. It sets the stage for an amicable discussion. And if you've been confrontational, apologize. Nothing's more
powerful -- and chances are, they'll apologize back.
5. Be proactive. Try to deal with conflict on your own before taking things to the next level. Unless the offense is truly egregious, reporting a neighbor to the police or another relevant agency is the wrong first move.