Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Jack Benny humor

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
~ Jack Benny

A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.
~ Jack Benny

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
~ Jack Benny

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
~ Jack Benny

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