"Well, you’re not such a great prize, either."

Elizabeth Strout Knows We Can’t Escape the Past

by Annabel Gutterman, October 13, 2021

https://time.com/6105980/elizabeth-strout-oh-william/  Accessed 10/21/2021

interview with Elizabeth Strout, quotes:

What do you think is the biggest misconception people have around marriage?

People, especially when they’re younger, get married thinking that their lives will be so much better. And hopefully they will be. But there’s this sense that there’s a perfect way to live, and there is not. Marriage is not the finishing line that sometimes people think it is.

What’s the best advice for a happy marriage?

My daughter told me that she heard this from a friend of hers, and I thought it was pretty amazing. She said: “Look in the mirror every morning and think to yourself, ‘Well, you’re not such a great prize, either.’” That sounds a little harsh, but I take the point. We all have our difficulties. You always think the other person’s not behaving the way you want them to, but then you look at yourself and realize, well, maybe I’m not behaving the way they want me to, either.

Time Magazine, Oct. 25/Nov. 1, 2021, p. 116