"gratitude is what makes optimism sustainable"

Michael J. Fox reveals scariest moment of risky surgery in 'No Time Like the Future'

Charles Trepany, USA TODAY, Nov. 17, 2020
https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/books/2020/11/17/michael-j-fox-spinal-surgery-no-time-like-future/6191909002/  accessed Nov. 21, 2020

quotes from Trepany's interview with Michael J. Fox about his new book 'No Time Like the Future':

"I was lying on the floor in my kitchen with a shattered arm waiting for the ambulance to show up," Fox tells USA TODAY. "I kind of went, 'What an idiot. All this time you've been telling everybody to be optimistic, chin-up, and you're miserable now. There's nothing but pain and regret. There's no way to put a shine on this.'" . . .

"That was a real breakthrough moment for me, because I realized that I've been selling that optimism to people for so long," he continues. "I believe it's true to my core, but it struck me that at that point I questioned it, and I questioned it really severely. And so the rest of the book is this journey through finding my way back with gratitude. And I think gratitude is what makes optimism sustainable." . . .

Despite the dark situations in his book, Fox never loses his sense of humor, something the actor says he and his wife have used to cope with challenges throughout their marriage.

"We deal with what's funny in the situation at first," Fox says. "We laugh about it and then we deal with it. But always humor. Humor is the filter for everything."

Through his recovery, falling and then needing to recover again, Fox says he realized the importance of being realistic while still optimistic. In fact, the actor says acknowledging bleak realities is the first step to improving your state of mind.

"I think the first thing you have to do is accept if you're faced with a difficult situation," he says. "And once I do that, that doesn't mean I can't ever change it. I can change it, but I have to accept it for what it is first, before I can change it. And I have to be real about it. And once I do that, then it opens all doors." . . .

After all, as Fox learned after his fall, "life gets better the more you decide to take it easy on yourself."

"Just give yourself a break, and, by that token, give the people in your life a break," he adds. "Give your neighbor a break. Give the person who bags your groceries a break. Just give everybody a break. Give them the benefit of the doubt and move on."